Thursday, September 11, 2008

I like songs, i really do, they say it all.

2 weeks 4 days done, 1 to go.


if by any strange chance you may be reading this, fuck you, you know what you are doing in the ward( rather, not doing ) fuck you for playing with peoples lives, trend in TPRBP is so important, and u can fucking slack off it for 2 days.

Bah, rough days, rough times, just make it go away.





Snuff





Bury all your secrets in my skin
Come away with innocence, and leave me with my sins
The air around me still feels like a cage
And love is just a camouflage for what resembles rage again...

So if you love me, let me go. And run away before I know.
My heart is just too dark to care. I can't destroy what isn't there.
Deliver me into my Fate - If I'm alone I cannot hate
I don't deserve to have you...
My smile was taken long ago / If I can change I hope I never know

I still press your letters to my lips
And cherish them in parts of me that savor every kiss
I couldn't face a life without your light
But all of that was ripped apart... when you refused to fight

So save your breath, I will not hear. I think I made it very clear.
You couldn't hate enough to love. Is that supposed to be enough?
I only wish you weren't my friend. Then I could hurt you in the end.
I never claimed to be a Saint...
My own was banished long ago / It took the
Death of Hope to let you go

So Break Yourself Against My Stones
And Spit Your Pity In My Soul
You Never Needed Any Help
You Sold Me Out To Save Yourself
And I Won't Listen To Your Shame
You Ran Away - You're All The Same
Angels Lie To Keep Control...
My Love Was Punished Long Ago
If You Still Care, Don't Ever Let Me Know
If you still care, don't ever let me know...

Sunday, August 31, 2008

The Islander




An old man by a seashore
At the end of day
Gazes the horizon
With seawinds in his face
Tempest-tossed island
Seasons all the same
Anchorage unpainted
And a ship without a name

Sea without a shore for the banished one unheard
He lightens the beacon, light at the end of world
Showing the way lighting hope in their hearts
The ones on their travels homeward from afar

This is for long-forgotten
Light at the end of the world
Horizon crying
The tears he left behind long ago

The albatross is flying
Making him daydream
The time before he became
One of the world`s unseen
Princess in the tower
Children in the fields
Life gave him it all:
An island of the universe

Now his love`s a memory
A ghost in the fog
He sets the sails one last time
Saying farewell to the world
Anchor to the water
Seabed far below
Grass still in his feet
And a smile beneath his brow

This is for long-forgotten
Light at the end of the world
Horizon crying
The tears he left behind so long ago

Saturday, August 16, 2008

" Sleep is for the smart, not the weak.




Its been a few days of sleepless nights due to last minute cramming for my 2 papers, FON and AAP, feel kinda good about myself somehow, I was able to do the papers with only a few hiccups here and there.


Its been a rather bumpy roller coaster like experience i must say, the ups, the downs, the super happy speedy fun time and the slow dull period of lonliness.








Either way, im very happy to exclaim that, I still do Love you for who we are, after being molded these 27 months, yeah, I guess the future cannot be predicted, let things take their course, but dont you think, it would be so cool, if we were given that chance ( insert crazy dream here )


Haha, I amaze myself, what kind of person I seem to be at times, i guess you can call me gullible, weak, expectant, a leech for emotions. Rawr, to add, i nag at myself and onto others too :( Im sorry.









P.S.

To my one and only love, remember all that has happened today and the months and days before it, cherish these moments, as I will do onto you, I really do love you and gosh am I missing YOU already, im missing your warmth, your shine, and know that no one else can replace you, no one.


<3 baby/neh neh/sweetie/honey hon/cherry pie !

Monday, August 11, 2008

" tis heartshache tis khhiillingggzszzszzzz mois ):




What can I say, things look out of hand even as we speak. Classical examples;

Has one ever begun to imagine looking at someone, being dragged across the room like a rag doll, beaten blue black, spat and cursed upon, let alone is made to beg for money just to go get groceries for the family? This may all seem part of an insert from a inhumane horror story, but yes, reality is capable of portraying such plays of life.


Another thing, ever seen two people, happy, blissful, in love and within seconds, things can get rather ugly when a word or two gets off track, thus the love and feelings all turn to yelling, screaming of profanities far beyond the grave and the cowardly idea of suicide and running away from it all.

Likewise, welcome to my life.

This may all seem like a rage post, a place where justin can unleash his so-called feelings of misunderstoodness and plagued with such scenarios that will forever haunt me.

It seems easy to say thatm yes, I would just have to remain strong as this whole event will just boil over in no time, but what if this has been happening for the past 12 years?; And you were that one little soul to have witnessed such a horrific act, caused by your hero, your champ, your dad?









Meh, its really fine tho, no one shall ever understand the feelings that have been drilled into me over all these ears, yes, I know Amanda you are here to help and all, but it kinda hurts to know that you such even suggest that I am over-reacting, when this is happening even now as I write this post ..

How does one help to intervene and help the ones you love, when you seem all alone?; When all hope is gone?; When society fails you, when feelings and love betrays you.


On to another topic,




Im really happy to have had that oppurtunity to deliver your handphone to your window, it was a funny scenario, where I saw myself charging down 10 stories in fear of being seen or caught, especially like a fool was lost between both blocks of flats with exactly the same block numbers, without a single defination of 'a' or 'b' .


Ha, yeah, quarrelling is 'healty' when it comes to relationships, but why should we be doing it when all we complain about is not being part of each others lives, when we are right there, arguing face to face? It feels silly, it feels contradictive.


I too can hardly imagine the whole idea of losing you, i mean, within 5 days, 27 months is a really long time, but that aside, who cares even if we last 50 years?; If we dont even continue making that effort for each other, it will not help in anyway really.




Still, im flattered you think of me in that way, I read your blog not to worry, I am really touched, and yes, I do assure you in this time of stress and confusion that I am going through, I will be strong, i will be your S.N.A.G, i will be your everything, i will not falter in anyway, nor change how i treat you, i feel im doing my best for you, in the little things I do and more, please notice it, baby.








To end this insanely long post, im just going to blurt out, thinking and articulating it in the best way i can..


I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!





<3 you neh neh!

Thursday, August 07, 2008

" Rage moar! Its good for the bi-rythms!!



Meh, been kinda busy, swamped with studying, school and all projects finally finished yesterday.

Nothing really interesting has happened, so yeah, what else should I say? :/


No 1: Things look pretty good so far, not failing, yet!
No 2: I just got dc'ed from a dota game (and I know i should be studying)
No 3: Im in love still with youuu! xD

Monday, July 14, 2008

" As Tears Would Fall And Crash Around Me



Its been many days since i've blogged really, to cut it short and sweet, point form ftw!



- Schools great, just done my Thousand word essay and submitted it on time, thanks Clifford, Song Heng(You jolly well know why)

- Life is amazing when taken positively and not considering and by just ignoring all the backstabbings and hate being spat around.

- And you, Oh baby, you make my life, awesome!! Amanda has been great, we both now really feel and love the way we did way before, just by simple gestures, cookies, goodies and lovely letters kept this going and yet, in just one day, its our 26th Month together, to think we've come this far.



But im never regretting a single thing that has happened or i've done to this moment, its been, amazing. (:

Monday, June 30, 2008

" I've Seen, My Family Fade Away .




It sucks really, this holiday.

The first week was great, people were free, things could be arranged and done.
Altough yeah, feels great that the guys were over when Spain won.( wuuwoo )
But its starting to feel so dry and lonely, I mean, most of the guys and girls are back at school, and here I am, hoping that someone would yield and accompany me through my last week of Hols.


Pfft, things are never the same everywhere, the people, the buildings, the feelings.
It just feels very jolting to find out that, although people change, its really because of their own personal choices that allows that change to come by, yeah, sad reality of life really.


I hate having to lie to people saying im fine, its rubbish, im rotting slowly and yet I myself barely realize it, im just putting it behind me, not knowing how much its killing me.


This emptiness, really, make it go away darling, make it.

welcome

you! tag!

profile

Justin
Eighteen, Bubbling under

There, go now

Amanda. Deb. FUEL. Chia Jeremy. Fattie.Joel. Jasmine. S00nB00nL00n. Damian. Abel. Sussanie.